The day before the Course started coming through to scribe Helen Schucman, Jesus gave co-scribe Bill Thetford a practice, with specific instructions on how to quiet his mind using a simple prayer from the Old Testament: Here I am, Lord. This article by Robert Perry describes the background and implications of this special guidance from Jesus.1 The guidance was to help Bill know he was not separate and apart and that he had equal access to the love of God and Jesus and he also could reach them and seek his own guidance. It was to bolster his confidence and reassure him.
The words Here I am, Lord are from the Bible. Robert correctly attributes them to the Prophet Isaiah who said Here I am, Lord; send me. But when I hear them I am transported back in time to when I was maybe 10, attending Methodist Sunday School, and hearing a different Bible story, the story of Samuel. Samuel is about four or five years old and he is in the temple with Eli, the High Priest. He was left at the temple by his mother Hannah, to fulfil a vow she made; she prayed for a son and promised that if she were to have one, she would dedicate his life to the service of God. The story of Samuel about Here I am, Lord is that God called to Samuel three times in the night. Each time he went to Eli who he thought was calling him and each time Eli told him to go back to bed. Each time Samuel’s response to Eli, who he thought had called him, was Here I am. As a child myself, I was struck by Samuel’s willingness to heed God’s call. When Samuel said “Here I am”, he was responding to God’s voice, signifying his willingness to listen and be guided by God’s instructions, his readiness to serve and obey God’s call. Samuel went on to become a key prophet in the Hebrew story and his story is told in the two Old Testament books, 1st and 2nd Samuel.
While seeking guidance and being willing to listen is not a new concept by any means, my experience with fully embracing this has been quite recent. For eight years I’ve been a dedicated student of A Course in Miracles and following guidance has been an area of special focus for me. Given the choice between floundering and blundering through life thinking I am in charge, and allowing the guidance of the Holy Spirit to instruct all my decisions, I choose the latter but quite often run off and do the former. The ego is relentless and ingeneous its methods aimed at maintaining a stranglehold on how I proceed. So whenever I think that things are going great and I am going full steam ahead with my spiritual practice, the ego steps in with a little fancy footwork here and there, and I am back to a form of behaviour that makes it heave a sigh of relief; back to wallowing in misery, defending myself against perceived attack, feeling alone and anxious or any number of ways in which I am no longer heeding the only voice I want to listen to. Like Bill, there are also times when I question whether I am important enough or worthy enough to receive this guidance.
Being willing and open, listening quietly and attentively with confidence is the key to being open to guidance. Like strengthening a muscle, it takes a lot of practice and often questioning whether the guidance originated from God/the Holy Spirit or from the ego, which is a very subtle and persistent force in our lives. And not always being sure but proceeding with patience and faith. Guidance may not come in words but can be a feeling of certainty about the next step. It can come in the form of someone telling you something that you needed to hear, at just the right time.
Since I have been consistently turning to the Holy Spirit and remembering more and more often to not make decisions by myself, not only do things flow effortlessly but they do so for longer periods before the ego subtly manipulates its way back in. And the time of derailment ceases to be less and the intensity less also. Even when the ego convinces me that I am not making progress I am quite quickly able to resume progress on the path that I briefly diverted from. I am also able to forgive myself and focus on getting back on track.
Here I am, Lord.